Happy Monday?
On the circadian rhythems of life, unfuckingtheworld, chronic pain, and dumb adulting stuff
Hi, friends!
Is this thing on? I haven't written in a while. I don't even have any notes for you! But it's Monday - I know that much. HAPPY MONDAY! 6 o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream…
Actually, I wasn't awake at 6. But maybe I should start setting my alarm for 6am instead of 6:30 because we are rarely on time to school these days. I. suppose we might have had a better chance if I actually woke up at 6:30 instead of falling asleep again until 7. Maybe we'd have a better chance if I charged my phone in a place that is not next to my bed, which would force me to put on the tea kettle sooner. Which would ultimately mean that I wake the kids sooner. Waking up, y'all. It's so hard for me. My perfect life is all about going to bed at midnight and waking up at 8 or 9. Why doesn't the world revolve around what MY perfect life is all about?
This is something I think about often, especially as I have a kid who is just oozing newly formed teenage hormones. Kids who ooze hormones want to connect late at night, turns out. So if you want to be the kind of parent who knows what's going on with your teenage kid, you gotta be the kind of parent who can stay up past 10. And then, if you have a 6 year old as well - you gotta get up at 6. Time to make the soft boiled eggs (for us) and Earl Grey tea (for me).
The midnight to 6 lifestyle is not sustainable for me. Can you exist on such little sleep? I wish I could.
Anyhow. I did a thing last week where I left my computer behind at my partner's house for 2 days and I have been behind ever since. It was really nice to have zero expectations for a little while, though. I also had my car at the shop and my bike was in the shop. So, like, I couldn't really go to my usual places to do my usual things. It was nice. I was forced to do things like go on long walks with music, which is one of my favorite things to do. I did a lot of gardening, too. Cleared out a corner of the yard that's been bugging me. Did it without wearing gloves again because that's just another thing I gotta find and I didn't want to pause my flow to find it. So my hands are a weathered mess of scratches and dirt that's going to have to grow out.
My hands are generally a mess these days, from being back behind the chair. Hands are a mess. Hands are falling asleep in my sleep. My chiropractor is happy to see me again! He says my hands are a mess because my elbows are a mess. My shoulders are a mess too, because hair. I have a new pain where my lumbar connects with my thoracic, which is troubling. New pains are never good. I have walked through an adulthood of chronic back and neck pain and I would like to just manage the pain that I have without adding to the load, thanks. Whatever. Take all my money, yoga teachers and chiropractors and body workers.
Because who needs money? OH, the power company needs money. Look, I've stared hard at my bill history - and I am paying twice what I was a year ago for far less power. This is so dumb. Adulthood tries to trick you all the damn time into just spending every minute of your life doing dumb shit like trying to figure out if it's really a good idea to invest in solar when all you really should be doing is making love, gardening, and making art. There. I said it! That's all that's important. Making love. Making plants grow. And making art. If we all just concentrated on doing those three things - we'd be spiritually fulfilled, connected to ourselves, connected to the land, and we would stop bugging each other with all the ISM bullshit. And then we could unfucktheworld.
I do think of community building (a big part of unfuckingtheworld) as an art. It's been a pleasure to be behind the chair again. making hair art and making community. Life is pretty sweet right now. Except for when my hands are asleep, which they are now, because I have been typing. I get so, so tired of managing my amazing, aging body. I know so many of you feel me on this, here.
I haven’t really said much in over 750words and that’s ok. If you’re reading this, thanks for that. Thanks for just nodding in understanding along with me. You’re a real pal!
Anyhow. Happy Monday! You got this. Let's unfucktheworld this week! I love you.